


ExcAItement

by MamaHen



Series: The All-Seeing AI [1]
Category: AI: The Somnium Files (Video Game)
Genre: Anyways uhh..., Gen, Humorous Ending, I think I just Streisand Effect-ed myself, Prequel, Rated M for racy descriptions of unclothed women, Resolution End Spoilers, Spoilers, That you might not have even realized was a spoiler if I hadn't said anything, There's a throwaway line with major Zero Escape spoilers, Vignette, Zero Escape spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:49:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22162834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MamaHen/pseuds/MamaHen
Summary: Kaname Date has been unable to produce oxytocin for six years, but has only been receiving it from Aiba for five. What kept him going during that year betweeen?
Series: The All-Seeing AI [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1594792
Comments: 4
Kudos: 62





	ExcAItement

Date kicked the door closed behind him with his foot, trudging into his apartment, assorted mail held under one arm. Another day of examining dead bodies, of staring into the darkest parts of humanity and trying to force their shape into something that resembled justice. Boss had warned him it would be draining work. It'd be depressing, soul-crushing, the kind that most people weren't cut out for. She'd assured him that she knew he had what it took, but in the month and a half since she convinced him to join ABIS, Date couldn't remember a single time when he was happy. There was a grim kind of satisfaction whenever he helped put a criminal behind bars, but he had never felt _happy_ about it. He had never felt happy about _anything._

Groaning, tired and spent, Date threw himself onto the couch, looking at the anachronisms in his hands. Who even used paper mail any more? Even all of his bills were paid online. One after another, he flipped through coupon books ('20% off on eggs when you buy 3 dozen or more!'), fake bank notices (he'd need to pass that along to someone in another department; phishing was still very illegal, even if nobody but senile grandparents fell for it any more), a magazine with a naked woman on the cover, a flyer for a local group of UFO enthusiasts, a-

Hang on. A magazine with a _what?_

Scrambling to pick it back up, Date looked the magazine over. How had this gotten here? 'Bi-Monthly Beauty Boutique.' The address was right, but the name on it was for one 'Junpei Tenmyouji." Presumably, the apartment's previous occupant. Slowly, Date peeled off the plastic covering the unexpected treasure, and opened it up. A long-haired brunette wearing nothing but a smile stared back at him. 

"P-..." Date's hands shook. Every page had something new to look at. Clear skin, from the finest porcelain to the richest bronze. Full-bodied curves, of all shapes and sizes. A rainbow of sensual, half-lidded eyes. There was so much to take in, so much to enjoy, and Date felt his heart pound with excitement every time he turned the page, in eager anticipation for whatever might come next. "P-... P-p-..."

_**"Pornooooo maaaaaaaaag!"** _

**Author's Note:**

> "Hey, Hen," Said no one ever, "Can you use Date being a pervert to make something fluffy?"
> 
> "Damn skippy!" I replied, before writing a fic that literally nobody asked for.


End file.
